Funny Tekken 3 Endings
by Dinaga
Summary: Wow,I forgot to upload Yoshi`s ending...sorry :),and I now need to finish the Paul`s ending and then we are REALLY done with this!
1. Heihachi

Heihachi  
  
/In Ogre`s stage/  
  
Heihachi killed Ogre,and he`s standing next to him.  
  
Heihachi:Why you had to die?I loved you!You were better than my wife,why you had to die!Those horns always   
  
turned me on when I was sad and lonely!OGREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!(cries)  
  
/In Chopper/  
  
Heihachi:Hello my dumb grandchild!Now you`ll pay for that provoking!And I`m not a clown!  
  
Jin:Oh yes you are!And you had sex with Ogre!  
  
Heihachi:HOW THE HELL YOU KNEW THAT?????  
  
Jin:Because I found condom in your pocket!  
  
Heihachi:So what?  
  
Jin:"For Ogre" is written on it!  
  
Heihachi:You little...  
  
Jin:HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!  
  
Heihachi:OK!Now you`ll see what I can do!  
  
Jin:What can one clown do?  
  
Heihachi:Throw you down!What will you do then?  
  
Jin:Heihachi,do you have a parachute?  
  
Heihachi:Offcourse!  
  
Jin:Cuz my aunt said it will not open!  
  
Heihachi:What your stupid aunt knows?OK,time to learn flying!(Heihachi throws Jin from the chopper)  
  
Jin(while falling):I`M GOING TO TELL EVERYBODY YOU ****ED OGRE!!!  
  
Heihachi:WHAT?You won`t!I`ll stop you!(takes parachute and jumps from chopper)  
  
Jin(still falling):CATCH ME,STUPID CLOWN!  
  
(Heihachi tries to open parachute,but parachute won`t open)  
  
Heihachi:JIN I AM GOING TO **** YOUR DAMN AUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jin:SURE JUST USE REGULAR CONDOM!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Jin and Heihachi fall to ground and break to pieces)  
  
/On Graveyard/  
  
Jun:BUHUHUHU!!!WHY THEY DIED!BUHUHUHU!!!  
  
Kazuya:Shut up.They had to die.But they will always be in our hearts.  
  
Jun:Kazuya you`re kidding with our family!  
  
Kazuya:HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
/In Hell/  
  
(Heihachi and Jin are on electric chairs)  
  
Heihachi:You dumb asshole...now we`re both dead!  
  
Jin:But YOU`RE A CLOWN!And you slept with OGRE!  
  
Heihachi:Go to hell!  
  
Guard:OK,guys,time for the torture.Be tough.  
  
Heihachi and Jin:NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Bryan

Bryan  
  
(Bryan is in street)  
  
Bryan:Oh shit.Now those assholes will shoot at me.BAH!Well I better put my sunglasses on,  
  
I look like Terminator with them.  
  
(Bryan puts sunglasses on)  
  
Bryan:Oh SHIT!  
  
(5 armoured guards come with guns)  
  
Guard:What the hell you want here?  
  
Bryan:I`LL BE BACK.  
  
Guard:What?  
  
Bryan:I sound like Terminator,do I? Do I? Please say I do!  
  
Guard:Shoot him!  
  
Bryan:Party time.  
  
(Guards shoot at Bryan,but bullets don`t harm him.He runs to them and faces a tank)  
  
Bryan:HELLO THERE!  
  
Tank Driver:Hello Terminator!  
  
Bryan:I CAN`T BELIEVE!SOMEONE CALLED ME TERMINATOR!  
  
Tank Driver:But you know what?  
  
Bryan:What?  
  
Tank Driver:TERMINATOR DIED!  
  
(Tank shoots Bryan and blast him into pieces)  
  
Guards:HEY!Isn`t he undead?  
  
Tank Driver:Yes...he should be?  
  
Voice:I`LL BE BACK...  
  
Guards:Well he IS Terminator!  
  
Voice:YES!I CAN DIE IN PEACE NOW!BECAUSE I AM TERMINATOR!HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! 


	3. Jin

Jin  
  
/In Ogre`s stage/  
  
Jin:There you stupid gay animal.You`ll never sleep with my grandpy again!  
  
(A bumch of soldiers arrice)  
  
Jin:Who the hell are you?  
  
Soldier:We are here to kill you,asshole.  
  
Jin:BUT WHY???  
  
Heihachi:WHAT?NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(takes breath)...OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!You killed Ogre!YOU DAMN ASS!  
  
Jin:Heh,heh,so you missed him too much,eh?  
  
Heihachi:HE WAS THE ONLY THING I LOVED!!!Soldiers,kill him!  
  
(Soldiers shoot at Jin)  
  
Jin:Hey,heihachi,why you don`t shoot at me?  
  
Heihachi:Sure.  
  
(Heihachi pulls the trigger,but gun won`t shoot,instead,a little flag comes out of the gun)  
  
Heihachi:The old ****ig "bang" trick.  
  
Jin.But grandpa,it isn`t bang!  
  
Heihachi:What?  
  
Jin:It`s BOM!  
  
Heihachi:What is BOM?  
  
Jin:Well,BOM means "**** you" in Polish,but it also means,BOOM!  
  
Heihachi:What the...  
  
(Gun,along with Heihachi explodes)  
  
Jin:HAHAHAHAHA!!!(turns into devil and flies)  
  
Heihachi(dying):DAMMIT!I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL,JIN!!!  
  
(Jin tries to fly,but his wings stops flying)  
  
Jin:WHAT?No,no,no!Battery for my wings is off!  
  
(Jin falls)  
  
Jin:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Heihachi:HA HA HA HA HA HA(One soldier shoots him)...UGH.  
  
(Jin breaks to pieces)  
  
/On graveyard/  
  
Jun:WHY THEY HAD TO DIE!BUHUHUHUHU!  
  
Kazuya:Shut up bitch.They deserved it.  
  
(Jun kicks Kazuya in nuts)  
  
Jun:Don`t you EVER **** with our family!  
  
Kazuya:Yeah,baby,THAT TURNS ME ON!Keep it up!  
  
(Jun starts kicking Kazuya in the nuts)  
  
/In hell/  
  
(Jin and Heihachi are on electric chairs,again.)  
  
Jin:AGAIN!Noooo!Why the hell we died anyway!  
  
Heihachi:You blew me wth that ****ing bomb,and you died because you were out of fuel.  
  
Jin:BATTERY!  
  
Heihachi:WHATEVER!  
  
Guard:OK,guys,now torture comes.Be tough.  
  
Jin and Heihachi:NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! 


	4. Lei

Lei  
  
(Lei is on the mountain,practicing)  
  
Lei:OK,let`s practice a bit.I will try hopping kick now.  
  
(Lei jumps and does a kick,but falls and breaks his arm)  
  
Lei:SHIT!OK,let`s try punching.  
  
(Lei punches the air,but hits his broken arm with another one)  
  
Lei:OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!OK,I`m gonna do do backflip.  
  
(Lei backflips but falls and hurts his head,and breaks his leg)  
  
Lei:AAAARGGH!!!!!!OK,let`s try Tae Kwon Do.  
  
(Lei practice kicks,but loses balance,and fall)  
  
Lei:DAMMIT!OK,I`m gonna do my Head attack.  
  
(Lei aacks with his head,but loses the balance,and falls,breaking his nose)  
  
Lei:NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!OK,let`s have a rest.I have only one leg and one arm left.Argh.  
  
(Lei rests)  
  
Lei:OK,now let`s practice with katana.  
  
(Lei hops on one leg and waves the sword,but again loses balance and falls)  
  
Lei:SHIT!BULLSHIT!(Lei is really pissed off,throws katana in anger)  
  
(Katana starts falling down,to Lei`s face)  
  
Lei:Oh no. 


	5. Eddy

Eddy  
  
/Outside of Eddy`s house/  
  
(Eddy comes in with his limo)  
  
Eddy:Ah,I`m sooooo cool with this limo.It rulez.  
  
(Eddy opens the door to leave the car,but door breaks and falls to ground)  
  
Eddy:WHAT THE?  
  
(Limo`s glass breaks to pieces)  
  
Eddy:What the hell is wrong with my limo?  
  
(2 other doors fall down and break)  
  
Eddy:SHIT!(Kicks car`s only door left,and that door falls too and break)  
  
Eddy:DAMMIT!(Goes to house,and car explodes behind him)  
  
(Eddy sees black guy in the house)  
  
Guy:Hello Eddy.How`s your car working?  
  
Eddy:WHAT THE???YOU BROKE MY CAR!I`M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THAT!!!  
  
Guy(takes out gun):No you won`t  
  
Eddy:OK,man calm down,you don`t need a corpse now.I don`t care about the limo,I wanted to throw it anyway.  
  
Guy:DANCE!  
  
Eddy:What?  
  
Guy:DAMCE CAPOIERA!  
  
Eddy:OK,man,ok...(starts dancing,but don`t impress tha black guy.  
  
Guy:Sorry.You die!  
  
Eddy:NO!  
  
(Guy pulls the trigger but nothing happens)  
  
Guy:HA!FOOLED YA!  
  
Eddy:WHAT?  
  
(Guy takes off his mask)  
  
Eddy:TIGER?  
  
Tiger:DAMN you fell on that one!  
  
Eddy:You asshole!You broke my limo!  
  
Tiger:WHAT?YOU CALLED ME AN ASSHOLE???  
  
Eddy:SO WHAT?That gun doesn`t work anyway.  
  
Tiger(takes out bazooka):BUT THIS DOES!  
  
Eddy:No,Wait,I was just kidding,calm down!  
  
Tiger:Hasta la vista baby(shoots to Eddy and breaks him to pieces)  
  
Tiger:WHAT HAVE I DONE!I DESTROYED MY BEST FRIEND!I must DIE!  
  
(Tiger points bazooka to himself,shoots and blows himself in pieces)  
  
(Christie comes in)  
  
Christie:Edie,I`ve brought you...HHHH!!!MY 2 MENTORS DIED!No!I have no reason to live!  
  
(Christie points bazooka to herself,and blows herself)  
  
/In hell/  
  
(Eddie and Tiger are in big room,forced to dance capoiera)  
  
Eddie:This is all your damn fault!  
  
Guard:SHUT UP!And damce,impress us!  
  
(Christie comes in)  
  
Eddie & Tiger:HAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?  
  
Chrstie:When I saw you 2 dead,I blew myself up.  
  
Guard:HEY YOU!COME HERE!And dance if you don`t wanna be tortured!  
  
Christie:OK,man,ok...(Starts doing capoiera along with Eddy and Tiger)  
  
Guard:Hm...I`m not impressed.TORTURE!  
  
Eddy,Christie & Tiger:NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	6. King

King  
  
/In wrestling arena/  
  
(King beats the crap outta poor masked guy)  
  
King:There,mother****er.Wanna more?  
  
Masked guy:YOU ARE CHEATER!!!  
  
King:And why?  
  
Masked guy:You use steroids!  
  
King:HOW THE HELL YOU KNEW THAT!!!???  
  
Audience:HE USE STEROIDS!BURN HIM!!!  
  
(Guards come to King and surround him,but Armour King beats them and brings King to small room)  
  
A.King:You know King,I must say you someting.  
  
King:I know.You know I use steroids.  
  
A.King:NO!I knew that already.  
  
King:HOW??????  
  
A.King:Well,you **** much faster than other people.  
  
King:Well,true.And what is your big secret?  
  
A.King:King,I am a GAY.  
  
King:WHAT???  
  
A.King:Yes,I am.  
  
King:But HOW???When you ****ed me you said you`re a wrestler!!! 


	7. Mokujin

Mokujin  
  
/In forest/  
  
(Mokin gets uppercutted by his wife)  
  
Wife:You big asshole!Get some water!  
  
Mokujin:Shut up,ugly witch!  
  
Wife:WHAT?  
  
Mokujin:Ah,sorry.I was going to say ugly BITCH!  
  
Wife:Why you...you`ll pay for this!  
  
Mokujin:He he.(Runs from his wife)  
  
Wife(still chasing Mokujin):Where is he?AHH THERE YOU ARE!  
  
Mokujin:PLEASE NO!DON`T KILL ME!  
  
Wife:I AM NOT A BITCH!  
  
(Mokujin runs)  
  
Wife:DAMN!Lost him!  
  
(Mokujin play arcades)  
  
Mokujin:DAMN this is good!  
  
(Wife comes to him)  
  
Wife:SO THERE YOU ARE!(prepares to uppercut him)Now prepare for...WHAT?Oh wait,Mokujin,I was just kidding,  
  
put that flamethrower down.PUT IT DOWN!AAAHHH!!!(runs out the forest)  
  
Mokujin:Thanks Tetsujin!  
  
Tetsujin:You`re welcome.You may use it for burning her,you know.  
  
Mokujin:Cool!I`ll be right back.  
  
/In Mokujin`s house/  
  
Wife:Oh,Mokujin please don`t go here,PLEASE don`t...  
  
(Door opens)  
  
Wife:Wh...Who is that?  
  
???:YOUR DEATH!  
  
(Mokujin comes in)  
  
Wife:NOO!No,please!!!Don`t flame me!  
  
Mokujin:Say hello to my little friend(takes flamethrower and pulls the trigger)  
  
Wife:NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
(The whole house explodes)  
  
/In hell/  
  
Wife:Now that was really smart.Killing me,you,and destroying the whole house.GREAT.You had a BOMB instead of   
  
damn fire!  
  
Mokujin:TETSUJIN YOU`LL PAY FOR THIS!!! 


	8. Anna

Anna  
  
/On beach/  
  
Anna:Wow,look at these boys.I think they are coming here.  
  
Nina:Screw them.  
  
*Three guys come to Anna and Nina*  
  
Guy:Look at these muscles!Aren`t they good!Come on,babe,let`s do it quick in my bedroom!  
  
Nina:Go to HELL!  
  
Guy:...Bitch.Hey,you,you are much prettier than your blonde sister.What`s your name?  
  
Anna:It`s Anna!  
  
Guy:Let`s take a walk!  
  
Anna:Sure!  
  
*Anna get up and goes with three guys but Nina stands up and rips Anna`s bra*  
  
Anna:HEY!  
  
Guys:OOOOOHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Nina:He he he.  
  
Anna:You`ll pay for this!  
  
*Anna starts fighting with Nina,still without bra*  
  
Guys:Bouncey Bouncey!  
  
*Anna beats Nina asnd puts her bra again*  
  
Anna:SHALL WE?  
  
Guys:YES!  
  
*Nina again stands up and comes with guys and Anna*  
  
Nina:May I come too?  
  
Guys:YES!  
  
/After 2 days/  
  
*Anna and Nina are on beach again*  
  
Anna:Thanks for doing that,sister!  
  
Nina:It was nothing.Now gimme my 500 $.  
  
Anna:Here.(Hands over 500 $ to Nina)  
  
Nina:You shouldn`t punch me too hard,dammit!  
  
Anna:Sorry,but I wanted to be more realistic!Hey!Look there!those guys are coming here!  
  
Nina:Hm...Anna,would you like to get your 500 $ back?  
  
Anna:OK!Prepare to get undresses,bad girl!  
  
Nina:Heh,heh.We`re a good team. 


	9. Hwoarang

Hwoarang  
  
/Hwoarang is near the river and wants to throw Heihachi-shaped statue/  
  
Hwoarang:I fought against him and now I`m going to look at old bastard?NO!  
  
*Hwoarang wants to throw the statue but sees Jin chased by Tekken Force soldiers*  
  
Hwoarang:that damn asshole screwed up something again!  
  
*Hwoarang puts his hair-holder,takes his pocket mirror and looks at himself*  
  
Hwoarang:Ohhh,how I am pretty!Uhh...WHAT???WOW!I look like professional skier with this hair-holder!!!Cool!  
  
/In room where Jin and soldiers are/  
  
Soldier:There motherfucker you thought you`ll escape from US!  
  
Other soldiers:(singing)WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS,WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS...  
  
Soldier:SHUT UP!  
  
*Hwoarang comes in in ski suit,stick and skies*  
  
Soldier:WHAT THE HELL?  
  
Hwoarang:Hello!Does anybody know how to ski?  
  
Soldiers:NO!  
  
Jin:NO!  
  
Hwoarang:Then I`ll show ya!  
  
Soldier:WAIT!WAIT!There is no snow,dummy!  
  
Hwoarang:That was smart.But bad for you.  
  
Soldier:What?  
  
*Missiles come out from Hwoaranbg`s skies*  
  
Hwoarang:Hasta La Vista baby.  
  
Soldiers:NOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
*Hwoarang shoots missiles to soldiers and blows the hell out of them*  
  
Jin.HEY!Slow down.Please don`t kill me.PLEASE!!!(starts crying)  
  
Hwoarang:OK.I won`t kill ya if you give me fresh new BMW.  
  
Jin:But I don`t have the damn BMW!  
  
Hwoarang:Goodbye then.  
  
*Hwoarang shoots a missile and blows Jin up*  
  
Hwoarang:(Takes his mirror)Ahh,I`m so pretty!I`m so...WHAT????I have a PIMPLE!OH NOOOO!!!!!!I`m so ugly!!!!!  
  
I must not live anymore!!!  
  
(Hwoarang points skies to himself and blows himself up)  
  
/In hell/  
  
*Jin and Hwoarang are on torture.Big guy with baseball bat slams them every couple of minutes*  
  
Jin:You stupid asshole!OUCH!Why the hell you killed me?OUCH!  
  
Hwoarang:You didn`t give me the BMW.OUCH!And I killed myself too.OUCH!Hope you`re pleased.OUCH!  
  
Guard:Do you know to swim?Because now water torture comes!  
  
Jin & Hwoarang:WHAT?  
  
Guard:Throw them in the water!  
  
*Guard throws Jin and Hwoarang in water,lets them drown a bit,then takes them out and repeat the process*  
  
Jin:BBBLLLHHH!!!!!!!YOUR ****ING BMW!!!  
  
Hwoarang:**** YOUU TTTOOO!!!! 


	10. Julia

Julia  
  
Julia:Michelle!Mother!  
  
Michelle:WHAZZUP!!!  
  
Julia.WHAZZUUUUP!!!So what`s up,dude?  
  
Michelle:Watching the game,taking a bath.What`s up with you,dude?  
  
Julia:Drinking a brew,kicking some ass.  
  
Michelle:Hey,we`re not following the line.What are you supossed to say now?  
  
Julia:Ahh,I know!I'll never let Heihachi get away with this!  
  
Michelle:Hey Julia,we need to protect the mother Nature,not destroy it!  
  
Julia:Heihachi is NOT mother Nature,you bitch!  
  
Michelle:WHAT!?How can you talk like that with your own mother?Say you`re sorry!  
  
Julia:I`m sorry you are a bitch.  
  
Michelle:OK THAT`S IT!I WILL KICK YOUR INDIAN WHITE ASS RIGHT NOW!  
  
*Julia and Michelle fight,and Michelle wins*  
  
Michelle:There,dumb daughter.NEVER insult Michelle Chang!  
  
(Julia Laughs)  
  
Michelle:WHAT?!!  
  
Julia:GANRYU SCREWED YOU!HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  
  
Michelle:SO WHAT?I am still pretty!  
  
Julia:That`s why you say "protect mother nature"!He`s so big that he is mother nature!  
  
Michelle:You are sick.  
  
*Michelle comes out while Julia is still laughing* 


	11. Tiger

Tiger  
  
/In disco/  
  
*Tiger is dancing boogie-woogie*  
  
Tiger:I`M SOOOOOOOOOO COOL!!!  
  
*Suddently,music stops and strange voice speaks*  
  
Voice:TIGER,YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD BOY NOW YOU WILL HAVE A ROUGH TEST.YOU MUST DANCE...  
  
Tiger:What the HELL???  
  
Voice:..AND YOU MUST STAND ONLY ON BLUE SQUARES ON THE PODIUM.IF YOU STAND ON RED SQUARE,YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!  
  
Tiger:Who are you?  
  
*Music starts*  
  
Tiger:DAMMIT!OK,I musn`t stand on red squares.La la laaaaa la...don`t stand on red,don`t,don`t...  
  
*Tiger stands on red square and lighting hits him*  
  
Tiger:AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OK,continue,and don`t stand on red one,don`t don`t,be cool,stay cool...  
  
*He stands on red square again and M-16 shoots his arm*  
  
Tiger:AHHH!!!NOOO!!!!!OK.I won`t dance.Then I won`t stand on red squares.  
  
Voice:DANCE!  
  
Tiger:NO!  
  
Voice:OK.  
  
*Sword comes out of podium and slices both Tiger`s arms off*  
  
Tiger:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Voice:DANCE!  
  
Tiger:OK,man,stay calm.Blue square,blue square,blue square,RED SQUARE!  
  
*Whole podium burns,Tiger too*  
  
Tiger:NOOOO!NOOOO!NOOO!!!!!  
  
*Huge sword comes out and stabs Tiger in chest,then it destroys whole Tiger`s body,leaving him to hang with  
  
his own guts*  
  
Voice:HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!  
  
/In hell,again/  
  
*Tiger is stiffed on broach,and Eddy is rotating his body*  
  
Tiger.WHAT the...HELL!!!Who did this to me???  
  
Eddy:Hello,pretty boy!That afro will be delicious!  
  
Tiger:YOU!?  
  
Eddy:Yes,me.This is because you destroyed my limo.And now I will EAT YOU!(Takes salt and pepper and strew them  
  
on Tiger)  
  
Tiger:NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	12. Law

Law  
  
*Forest Law and Paul drive with Paul`s motorbike*  
  
Law:Hey Paul,can you stop a bit?  
  
Paul:Why?  
  
Law:Cause I have to pee!  
  
Paul:I don`t have the time now!Here,take this empty beer bottle.  
  
Law:(takes bottle)Ahhhhh.  
  
(Paul rides too fast,so nearest cop chases them with his motorbike)  
  
Cop:Stop the motorbike!  
  
(Paul stops the motorbike)  
  
Cop:Hmmm...so you were driving a bit too fast,eh?  
  
Paul:Well,yes.  
  
Cop:Give me your license now!  
  
(Paul gives license to cop)  
  
Cop:Ahh,what`s there!A beer bottle!You drank a bit,huh?Wanna go to jail for that!??  
  
Paul:No,we didn`t!  
  
Cop:GIVE THAT BOTTLE TO ME!  
  
Law:But...you don`t want to drink that!  
  
Cop:SHUT UP!(Drinks from bottle)  
  
*Cop starts coughing and throws the botttle*  
  
Law:Wanna cookie?  
  
Cop:GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!  
  
Paul:Whatever.  
  
*Paul and Law drive to Marshall Law`s dojo*  
  
Paul:WHAZZUP!  
  
Law:Hey dad?How ya doin`?  
  
Marshall:GET THE HELL IN AND SHUT UP!  
  
*Law,Marshall and Paul come in and start practicing*  
  
Paul:OK,let`s do something spectacular!  
  
Law & Marshall:Allright!  
  
*Law starts by doing Flip Kick and land in Handstand Splits,standing on his hands*  
  
Law:Heh,heh,can you do this,dudes?  
  
Paul:Offcourse!  
  
*Paul tries to do Flip Kick but smashes himself,then he does his hop kicks,but lands on  
  
top of basketball hoop*  
  
Paul:AHHHHHH!This is better than vibrator!  
  
Marshall:HA HA HA HA HA!Look this,amateur!  
  
*Marshall does a Double Flip Kick,but lands on Law which is still in Handstand splits*  
  
Law:AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!PLEASE THIS BE FEMALE!  
  
Marshall:NO,DUMB SON!IT`S ME!  
  
Paul:HA HA HA HA HA HA!NICE PARTY,YOU COUPLE OF GAYS!  
  
Law:Get off me you perv!  
  
Paul:Maybe you`ll get pregnant!HA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
*Marshall Law gets off Law,while Paul gets off the hoop*  
  
Paul:OK,this wasn`t good,let`s try another one.  
  
Marshall & Forest:OK.  
  
Paul:I`ll start.  
  
*Paul and Forest Law practice,doing same moves,while Marshall watches*  
  
Marshall:Good!Good!  
  
*Paul and Law turn to each other,and they kick each other in balls*  
  
Paul & Law:OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!  
  
Marshall:NO YOU IDIOTS!  
  
*Marshall starts kicking Paul and Forest Law in balls repeadetly,so they run out of his dojo*  
  
Law:He is MAD!  
  
Paul:AHH!MY BALLS!  
  
Law:Let`s just get the hell outta here!  
  
*Paul and Forest Law drive off with motorbike*  
  
Marshall:...And stay there!OK,where we stopped,my dear babies?  
  
*Anna,Nina,Xiaoyu,Michelle,Julia,Kunimitsu,Jun and Christie come out*  
  
Girls:Just come here,we`ll continue!  
  
Marshall:Ahh,yeah.These gymnastics are better than practicing fighting.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
P.S.  
  
Thanks to Hwoarang for the idea of practicing.  
I used cop thing from "Dumb & Dumber" movie. 


	13. Gun Jack

Gun Jack  
  
*Gun Jack and Jane come out from her bedroom*  
  
Gun Jack:Now that was fantastic!!!  
  
Jane:You were great too!Robots are better than regular people!  
  
Gun Jack:What???You was with other people too!!??  
  
Jane:Only one!  
  
Gun Jack:WHO?  
  
Jane:Jack!  
  
Gun Jack:Ah well allright.He is my friend after all.  
  
Jane:Let`s go!  
  
*Gun Jack and Jane come out and walk*  
  
/God Knows hom many miles above,in spaceship/  
  
Dr.Abel:HI HE HA HA HO HO HU HI HE HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
*Dr Abel presses a button and fires laser at Gun Jack*  
  
/On Earth,where Gun Jack is/  
  
Jane:Hey what is shining at sky?  
  
Gun Jack:Oh how romant...WHAT???NO!IT`S A LASER!!  
  
*Laser hits Gun Jack and he explodes*  
  
Jane:NOOOO!!!He should survive!!!  
  
*Jack comes*  
  
Jack:Yeah,but this is -bad- ending,he must beat the Arcade mode with his 3rd outfit to unlock -good- ending!  
  
Jane:YES!You are right!  
  
Jack:So stupid of him isn`t it?  
  
Jane:Yeah!  
  
Jack:I`m smarter!  
  
Jane:Yeah!  
  
Jack:Let`s go to your bedroom!  
  
Jane:Yeah!  
  
/In Jane`s house/  
  
Jane:You are the BEST!  
  
Jack:Yeah,I know!  
  
*Gun Jack comes in*  
  
Gun Jack:So you cheated me,huh?  
  
Jane:But...YOU ARE DEAD!!!  
  
Guin Jack:Not so fast,dumbasses!I now beat Arcade and get -good- ending!  
  
Jack:NOOOOO!!!!  
  
Gun Jack:Prepare to die!  
  
*Gun Jack shoots missiles to Jane and Jack and blows them to pieces*  
  
Gun Jack:HASTA LA VISTA BABY!  
  
*Terminator appears*  
  
Gun Jack:WHAT THE HELL???  
  
Terminator:You are good actor!Will you go with me to Holywood,so we can make movies?  
  
Gun Jack:HELL YEAH!  
  
*Terminator teleports Gun Jack to volcano,and lets him die in lava*  
  
Gun Jack:AAAAARGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Terminator:Heh,heh...HASTA LA VISTA BABY!And remember,NOBODY quotes MY famous words!HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
/In hell/  
  
*Gun Jack,Jack and Jane are at electric chairs*  
  
Gun Jack:You are guilty,Jane,you screwed all up!  
  
Jane:No I didn`t!  
  
Jack:Yes you did!  
  
Guard:OK,guys,get ready for some high-voltage electric torture!  
  
Gun Jack,Jack & Jane:NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 


	14. KumaPanda

Panda/Kuma  
  
*Panda is walking with Xiaoyu outside of school*  
  
Xiaoyu:What`s up with you and Kuma?  
  
Panda:If that ****ing asshole comes again I will kick his ASS!  
  
Xiaoyu:Just use techniques I teached you,ok?  
  
Panda:You mean Phoenix Stance???I can`t do it!  
  
Xiaoyu:WELL THEN USE YOUR ****ING STUPID WHITE POLAR BEAR FREAKING DAMN TACTICS!!!  
  
Panda:SURE I WILL!  
  
/At school`s park entrance/  
  
Kuma:Heh,heh,heh.I`ll first impress her with these nice flowers,and then I`ll check out is she so sexy like  
  
everybody talks about!Heh,heh...  
  
*Panda and Xiaoyu comes out through the Park entrance door,and Kuma comes out with flowers*  
  
Kuma:PANDA!YOU ARE MY ONLY LOVE!PLEASE ACCEPT THIS GIFT OF MY LOVE!MY HEART WILL ALWAYS BEAT FOR YOU!  
  
Panda:OK THAT`S IT!I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!!!!  
  
Kuma:What?  
  
Panda:Come here,asshole!  
  
*Panda and Kuma teleport to wrestling arena,where King is having a match*  
  
King:WHAT???What are you doing here?  
  
Panda:SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF DAMN ARENA BEFORE I KILL YOUR JAGUAR ASS!!!  
  
King:OK,OK,don`t be annoyed now.  
  
Panda:ANNOUNCER!!!  
  
Anouncer:What?  
  
Panda.Me and this asshole will fight now!Announce this fight!!!!  
  
Announcer:OK,(cough)...Panda V.S. Kuma!  
  
Kuma:But I don`t want to fight you!  
  
Panda:THEN I WILL KILL YOU!!!  
  
*Panda starts fighting with Kuma and Kuma beats her ass*  
  
Announcer:Kuma wins!  
  
Kuma:I still don`t understand why we must fight.  
  
*Panda gets up*  
  
Panda:What did you just say???  
  
Announcer:I said Kuma wins!  
  
Panda:WHY YOU...NOW YOU`LL PAY FOR THAT!!!COME HERE!!!  
  
Announcer:OK.(Comes down in arena)  
  
Panda:Now prepare to DIE!  
  
*Panda kills Announcer,then lacerates his body,and hang him with his own guts*  
  
Kuma:What the hell is wrong with you!??  
  
Panda:ALLRIGHT!NOW YOU PISSED ME LONG ENOUGH!DIE!(Panda takes Bazooka)  
  
Kuma:What the...  
  
*Panda shoots and blows Kuma*  
  
Panda:He is dead.He is really dead.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
*Panda occasionally pulls the trigger and blows herself up*  
  
/In hell/  
  
*Panda and Kuma are tied up,and Announcer is whipping them with scourge*  
  
Kuma:Why the hell you needed to do this???OUCH!  
  
Panda:OUCH!JUST SHUT THE **** UP!!!!OUCH!  
  
Kuma:OUCH!Hey dude,beat her,I didn`t do anything to you.  
  
Announcer:Sorry,but they told me so.And now you will be thrown in volcano to be punished.  
  
Kuma & Panda:NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! 


	15. Nina

Nina  
  
*Nina is in Dr.Bosconovitch machine*  
  
Anna:Yeah,dude!Torture her!  
  
Bosconovitch:OK!  
  
*Bosconovitch presses a button and Nina gets out from the machine,then he ties her on wall*  
  
Nina:(wakes up)WHAT IS THIS???  
  
Bosconovitch:Anna said you weren`t good girl!  
  
Anna:YES!  
  
Nina:NOOOO!!!SHE LIES!!!  
  
Anna:Torture her!  
  
*Bosco pulls a switch and activates a mechanism*  
  
Nina:What is this???  
  
Bosco:You`ll see!  
  
*Lash comes out and starts beating Nina*  
  
Nina:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anna:HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!  
  
/On graveyard/  
  
*Nina and Anna are at their father`s grave*  
  
Nina:YOU BITCH!WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!????  
  
Anna:You didn`t like it?  
  
Nina:WHAT???YOU`LL LIKE THIS!!!!!  
  
*Nina starts fighting with Anna,and Steve Fox comes*  
  
Steve:Hey!It`s my mother!HELLO MOTHER!  
  
Nina:(still fighting)WHAT THE HELL YOU DO HERE???  
  
Steve:Well I never knew you`re a lesbian!  
  
Nina:WHAT???OK NOW YOU`LL PAY FOR THAT!  
  
*Nina knocks Anna out and starts fighting with Steve,but he beats her*  
  
Steve:You know,I was never beaten by female!  
  
*Anna wakes up*  
  
Anna:What are YOU doing here?  
  
Steve:Drinking a brew,kicking my mother`s ass.  
  
Anna:AHH!Do you want punish her?  
  
Steve:Well,yes.  
  
Anna:Then take her and come with me!  
  
/In Bosconovitch`s lab/  
  
Anna:She was bad again,can you do another whipping?  
  
Bosconovitch:Always!  
  
Steve.But we will make special whipping now!  
  
*Steve takes mobile phone and calls someone*  
  
Anna:What are you doing?  
  
Steve:Just wait.  
  
*After few minutes,bunch of guys come with cameras*  
  
Anna:What is this?  
  
Steve:Now she will be on TV!  
  
Anna:YAY!  
  
*Bosconovitch ties Nina again,and undresses her*  
  
Bosconovitch:OK,should I wake her up now?  
  
Anna:OK.  
  
*Bosconovitch slaps Nina couple of times to wake her up*  
  
Nina:Where am I?  
  
Steve:Cheers!You are on TV!  
  
Nina:NO!NOT THAT AGAIN!!!  
  
Anna:He he he!  
  
Nina:ANNA YOU`LL PAY FOR THIS!  
  
*Guys with cameras turn their cameras on,and Bosconovitch activates the mechanism*  
  
Nina:NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! 


	16. Xiaoyu

Xiaoyu  
  
/In Xiaoyu`s park/  
  
Xiaoyu:I`m so happy!I made my park at last!  
  
*Heihachi comes in*  
  
Xiaoyu:What are YOU doing here?  
  
Heihachi:I want to make a little change to your park.  
  
*Heihachi pulls a lever and Xiaoyu`s park changes into skatepark*  
  
Heihachi(puts nor-wester):WHAZZUP!  
  
Xiaoyu:What the hell are you doing?  
  
*Heihachi stands on skateboard and starts skating*  
  
Heihachi:YEAH BABY!OOOOH!I love skating!!!  
  
Xiaoyu(Pulls bazooka out):Hasta la vista you big bumed punk asshole!  
  
Heihachi:NOOOO!  
  
*Xiaoyu shoot but misses Heihachi*  
  
Heihachi:Now you`ll PAY for that!  
  
*Heihachi takes his belt,comes to Xiaoyu,undresses her,puts her on his knee and starts beating her like 8-year child*  
  
Xiaoyu:NOOOOO!!!  
  
Heihachi:NEVER insult Heihachi Mishima and NEVER EVER EVER EVER try to kill him!!!  
  
*Heihachi still beats Xiaoyu,while she is insanely screaming*  
  
*Jin appears*  
  
Heihachi:What?  
  
*Jin punches Heihachi*  
  
Jin:You bum!  
  
Heihachi:But WHY?Why you hit your grandfather?  
  
Jin:That`s my job!  
  
Heihachi:AHH allright.Here.(Gives Xiaoyu to Jin)  
  
Xiaoyu:What?  
  
Jin:Beating time!I always wanted to do this!  
  
*Jin takes Heihachi`s belt,undresses Xiaoyu,puts her on his knee and starts beating her*  
  
Xiaoyu:AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jin:Yeah,scream baby!  
  
Heihachi:That`s my grandson!I`m proud on you!You`re better than that bastard Kazuya!  
  
*Kazuya appears*  
  
Heihachi:OK now you can`t beat her,because Jin is already...  
  
*Kazuya punches Heihachi so hard that Heihachi falls on ground and starts crying*  
  
Heihachi:WHY?You want to beat her too?  
  
Kazuya:NO!I want to beat YOU!  
  
*Kazuya starts beating the crap outta Heihachi until Heihachi dies*  
  
Jin(Still beating Xiaoyu):Rest In Piece.  
  
Kazuya:Rest In Pieces.  
  
Xiaoyu:LET ME GO YOU INSANE PSYHO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kazuya:OK,did you finish?  
  
Jin:Yes.  
  
Kazuya:Now let`s g skate!Xiaoyu made wonderful skatepark!  
  
Xiaoyu:I didn...  
  
*Kazuya takes small knife*  
  
Xiayou:Wh...what you want to do with that???  
  
Kazuya:To kill you.  
  
Xiaoyu:NOOO!I will skate with you!Even sleep with you!But please don`t kill me!  
  
Kazuya:Sorry.Not interested.  
  
*Kazuya slices Xiaoyu`s neck*  
  
Kazuya & Jin:Rest in Pieces.  
  
Kazuya:Now let`s skate!  
  
Jin:Allright!  
  
*Jin and Kazuya start skating*  
  
/In hell/  
  
*Xiaoyu and Heihachi are on electric chairs*  
  
Xiaoyu:You asshole!!!It is all your fault!  
  
Heihachi:MY FAULT???It is not my fault everybody wants to whip your ass!  
  
Xiaoyu:It is not my fault I`m so attractive!  
  
Heihachi:Shut up!!!  
  
Guard:Allright prepare for electric torture now.  
  
Heihachi:Allright dude,but can you please do me the last wish?  
  
Guad:Allright.  
  
*Heihachi whispers something to Guard*  
  
Guard:Cool!Hey guards,come and take this little chick!  
  
Xiaoyu:What is happening?  
  
Heihachi:You`ll have beating time because your ass is so attractive!  
  
Xiaoyu:NOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Heihachi:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
*Guard pulls the lever and activates Heihachi`s electric chair*  
  
Heihachi:AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
/in second torture room/  
  
Guard:Put her there and tie her up!  
  
*Beating mechanism comes out*  
  
Guard:OK!Ready?  
  
Xiaoyu:NO!!!  
  
Guard:Whetever!  
  
*Guard pulls a lever and beating mechanism activates,and starts beating Xiaoyu*  
  
Xiaoyu:NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! 


	17. Ogre

Ogre  
  
*Ogre transforms into True Ogre*  
  
Ogre:AAAAHHHH!!!So much POWER!I just LOVE myself!  
  
*Heihachi comes*  
  
Heihachi:WHAT????You said you love only me!!!  
  
Ogre:Sorry...but my real love is...myself!  
  
Heihachi:You dumb asshole!And I loved you!Taked care of cou!Dreamed you!  
  
Ogre:So what?Go to hell now!!!  
  
Heihachi:NO!You`re coming with me!!!  
  
*Heihachi takes mace and starts vawing it*  
  
Ogre:What the hell is that?  
  
Heihachi:The think which will kill you!!!  
  
*Ogre laughs*  
  
Heihachi:WHAT???  
  
Ogre:You think you will killme with that?  
  
Heihachi:Well not really...let`s see!  
  
*Heihachi chops Ogre`s head off*  
  
Heihachi:So what do you think?  
  
Ogre:AAHhhhhh.(dies)  
  
Heihachi:Hehehe...hehahahahAHAHHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!!Uh...no!No!What have I done!!!I killed my only love!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
*Devil appears*  
  
Devil:Howdy Heihachi!  
  
Heihachi:What the?  
  
*Devil blasts Heihachi`s head off*  
  
Devil:Sorry Heihachi,but Ogre said to do that!Now...where`s the prize?  
  
Jun(from bedroom):Hehe!Come here,honey!You`ll get your prize!  
  
*Devil runs into bedroom*  
  
/In hell/  
  
*Heihachi and Ogre are hanging*  
  
Heihachi:You bum!It would all be different if you loved me!  
  
Ogre:Shut the **** up!!!  
  
Guard:Hey people!These two seem to love each other!  
  
Other guards:Yeah!Let`s send Cupid to them!  
  
*Guards take bows and arrows and start shooting Ogre and Heihachi*  
  
Heihachi & Ogre:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 


	18. Gon

Gon  
  
*Gon is traveling trough the forest*  
  
Gon:Yeah baby I love this!Thank God I am the only one here!  
  
*Heihachi,Kazuya and Jin appear from the trees*  
  
Kazuya:GET HIM!He will be perfect for our experiments!  
  
Gon:NOOO!  
  
*Heihachi,Kazuya and Jin start chasing Gon trough the forest*  
  
Gon:Damn!Where to go!Ah!I`ll go behind this big tree!  
  
*Gon hides behind tree+  
  
Gon:I guess they lost me.Hooray!  
  
Voice:Hooray!  
  
Gon:WHAT?  
  
*Yoshimitsu jumps from the tree*  
  
Yoshimitsu:I need you for Bosconovitch`s new Cold Sleep machine!  
  
Gon:NO!(runs)  
  
*Yoshimitsu starts chasing Gon*  
  
Gon:Why the **** this happens to ME?  
  
*Gon manages to escape from Yoshimitsu*  
  
Gon:OK!I lost him.I guess nobody else will...  
  
Eddy:GET HIM!!!I need a new suit made from his skin!  
  
*Eddy and Christie start chasing Gon*  
  
Gon:NOT AGAIN!  
  
*All of other characters appear and start chasing Gon*  
  
Gon:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Characters:KILL HIM!  
  
*Gon farts and kills all the characters*  
  
Gon:ha ha ha..haha..HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
*Farts again and kills himself*  
  
/In hell/  
  
Gon:Thank god!Now I am the only one here!  
  
Eddy:No you aren`t dummy!  
  
*Gon looks and sees that he is on electric chair,along with other characters*  
  
Guard:Let`s go!  
  
*Guard pulls the lever*  
  
All characters:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	19. Yoshimitsu

Yoshimitsu / Dr.Bosconovitch  
  
/In big house/  
  
Yoshi:Look how this mouse cut is.  
  
Bosco:Yeah.Almost cute as you.  
  
Yoshi:Thanks Bosco.You are also cute.  
  
Bosco:Stop,please.I`ll be emberrased.  
  
Yoshi:But you have so cute little eyes.  
  
Bosco:And you have cute little nose.  
  
Yoshi:I think you`re pretty.  
  
Bosco:And you are also very pretty,If I were female I would sleep with you immediatly.  
  
Yoshi:Me too.  
  
Bosco:LET`S DO IT!  
  
Yoshi:OK!  
  
*Yoshi and Bosco go to bedroom*  
  
Mouse:Those two stupid gays will never know this damn blood will make me grow like damn Big Ben.  
  
*Yoshi and Bosco return*  
  
Yoshi:You were good.  
  
Bosco:Thanks.I`m still solid.  
  
Yoshi:DON`T YOU LIE!I saw you use Viagra!  
  
Bosco:NO I DIDN`T!  
  
Yoshi:YES YOU DID!  
  
Bosco:OK,I did.So what?I am 101 years old anyway.  
  
Yoshi:Don`t worry.You were fantastic.It would be better without that screaming but whatever.  
  
Bosco:Sorry!  
  
Mouse:HEY STUPID GAY ASSES!  
  
Yoshi and Bosco:WHAT THE HELL?YOU CAN TALK?!  
  
Mouse:Yes!And I can GROW!  
  
Yoshi:Do you think what I think you think?  
  
Bosco:Yes I think what you think I think.  
  
Yoshi and Bosco:HE USED VIAGRA!  
  
/Outside of house/  
  
*Yoshi runs out holding Bosco under his arm as gigantic mouse comes out and breaks the house*  
  
Yoshi:DAMN YOU BOSCO!IT`S ALL YOUR DAMN FAULT! 


End file.
